McMachismo: Do Right by Eating Left

Confession and redemption by a fuckup is often an easy pairing for me personally.  Those who did wrong and then met opprobrium usually garners my sympathy.  But McClellan.  No.  I can’t give it to him.  Perhaps because he’s fat.  I don’t know.  I just can’t seem to have the same sentiment of “at least you had the balls to come out with it”.  No it’s not there.  I didn’t like him when he was a White House Press Secretary and even though he comes out with a book castrating the President, I still don’t like him.  Just look at him, a jovial fat white man:

Good Morning.  It’s a windy glum Thursday morning here in Washington, DC.  Work has been…streaming in healthy amounts.  It seems all of our office’s major programs is colliding into one day. 

 I realized what people mean when they say studying for GRE’s isn’t difficult - just moreso annoying. It’s like the SATs all over again.  The sad truth is, i forgot nearly EVERYTHING on the math section.  I don’t know how to find the area of a cricle.  Nor do I know what a diameter is.  Nor do I know what a “real integer” is.  I once knew all these things but a liberal arts degree at Michigan hasn’t really helped me maintain that useless knowledge.

 Some points in the news:

McCain is acting as he’s President or something (like he’s ever going to be that).  He recently visited with England’s PM Gordon Brown to talk about stuff usually presidents talk about.  Here’s the fucked up part.  Everyone remember when Nancy Pelosi went to Syria early last year?  She got all this criticism about how she is interfering in foreign affairs blah blah blah and that it’s not her role to be abroad blah blah blah and that she should be in the kitchen blah blah blah.  How hypocritical of the White House to lambast Nancy Pelosi, who is the SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE and probably has more power in foreign affairs matters, and make no comment on John McCain who is just an ancient senator and presidential hopeful!?  I’d use the gender card here but it’s been used too often these past months so I’m just gonna let it be self-evident.

After date raping America’s children, China is now poisoning Korea’s beloved snacks with rat heads.  Doesn’t that sound like some ancient asian war tactic?     

Ferraro, yes you are a racist.  Not a foaming from the mouth with bed sheets over your head racist, but you’re using race as a means of putting down a person’s accomplishments - so in that essence, i consider your comments as racist.   

My question is, in the eyes of Ferraro, what does a non-white individual have to do in order to compete for the highest office in the land, or any prestigious position for that matter, and be counted on his merits and not of his color?  Obama did go to Columbia for undergrad and then to Harvard Law School.  He served in Illinois’s state legislature and eventually as a Senator.  What kind of resume and credentials is necessary for a wizened old white woman to sit back and go “Ah, yes.  This colored person has made it on top because of his experience and leadership skills.”

It’s a ridiculous statement she’s making because it’s pretty much creating a standard and a bar level that is higher than a typical white males.  ESPECIALLY, as a woman - why would you do that to another minority group?  To play the race card and say he/she got there because of so and so color, then when do we know how to stop?  

What Ferraro is, is just a old vestige of a time when politics was dominated by WASPs.  Unable to find relevancy she croaks about how a black man can get as far as he did and claims she is not a racist but just ”stating the facts.”

I want to be judged by my resume and not the color of my skin - so when a woman like Ferraro comes on stage and starts claiming that an accomplished individual like Obama got what he got because he’s black…then what the fuck? 

So a white trash family attacks a black news reporter yelling racial slurs because she was doing her job - never mind the white news reporters that were standing by. 

 And South Carolina being South Carolina, has no law allowing hate crime.  This kind of shit should not go by as just assault and battery. 

And some old white lady whose political heydays were long over says Barack is popular cuz he be black and that she’s no racist.  I mean, she is kinda right - Jesse Jackson’s popular and was a presidential nominee because, well, he was black…and loud…and obnoxious…and divisive…and did i mention loud? 

Putin made a surprise visit to a Moscow with his wife to watch “Woe for Wit.”  After the crowd’s standing for him and his wife, he made tea and cookies with the stage performers.  In which the following conversation took place:

Putin: Why did you at the very beginning show (the main character) crying? One gets the impression of him as a weak person. He’s a strong man. He withstands everything that’s there. You showed him sniveling.
Director Tuminas: You’re correct and I’m just glad that the actor has heard this.
Putin: The actor has nothing to do with this. He’s done what you told him.

Can you imagine this happening in the states?  Bush goes to some opera by surprise (shocker one), gets a standing ovation for himself (shocker two), and then gives pointers about how to perform opera (shocker three).  For some reason this reminds me of North Korea’s Kim Jong Il.  As the highest leader, anything that comes out of his mouth is considered expert advice, especially when it comes to the arts.  The more things change, the more it just all stays the same.

Every time I find some routine that’s good for me and I enjoy, there ends up being some shafted side effects to it that makes me not want to do it anymore.  Oh I don’t know, like lung cancer, liver disease, MRSA…stuff like that.

Recently, it’s been jogging running.  I’ve been making it a habit of running four miles 5 times a day after work.  I do 3 miles running at 7 mph, go .25 miles at 4 mph, and then finish up .75 miles at 7 mph.  I’ve been doing this consistently, until my knees and my back began to hurt. 

Not to sound like a complete douche bag, but I personally really enjoyed running and felt good after each run (especially when i ran next to this fat chick who could barely carry her body walking).  But apparently, you shouldn’t run in a rigid schedule because it’s just bad for your knees and back.  So the ONE habit that’s good for me, that i enjoy, and that I can be consistent with….I can’t do it on a daily basis.  What the heck.

Life is nothing but a bunch of “everything in moderation” and “middle of the road” crap.  Why can’t I OD on something actually healthy?  I even stopped going to the gym to lift weights because I realized being buff and short was the last thing on my to do list.

WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN!?  So apparently, republican political bosses in NJ are thinking about having Rudy Guiliani run against ancient Lautenberg for his Senate seat. 

WHAT!?  First of all, he’s a big fat ass skeeze and second of all…HE’S A DAMN NEW YORKER!  I don’t want no greasy slimeball New Yorker as my Senator.  HELLS TO THE NO.  I just don’t want any new yorker being my senator….let alone a Republican.

 What the hell.

The weather in our nation’s Capitol is freakish.  What was in the 60’s on Monday turned a bitter 30’s today.  I overheard one of those stranger to stranger conversations that are OVERLY nice, OVERLY polite, and (worst of all) OVERLY sarcastic.  This one ended not that well…

Woman:  Gosh the weather got so cold!
Man: I know! That’s why during this season people usually get ammonia?
Woman: Get what?
Man: They usually get ammonia because of the sudden weather change.
Woman: Oh, ok.

And as you could probably tell, the conversation ended there.   

So apparently, Republicans enjoy running each over with buses.  Bill Hunningham, a conservative radio talk show host, is bitching at McCain for attacking him for calling Barack Obama: “Barack Hussein Obama.”  His words exactly:

“All was well after an hour when John McCain threw me under the bus, under the straight talk express.  I got thrown under the bus!”

Here’s the bus that ran over Bill Hunningham:

For those who don’t remember, when Senator Larry “Widestance” Craig, tried to fit his ass under a bathroom divider but instead found an undercover sex sting cop, he was booted from ex-republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney’s campaign committee, there’s were his exact words:

“Romney threw me under the bus, backed up, and ran me over again”

And here’s the bus that ran over Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig:

Buses running over republican conservatives are the least of the party’s concern.

Democrats are actually shocked that Congress will actually start debating and discussing - a stray from the founding father’s true intent of our great Capitol: politiking.  Gasp, so you actually will have a debate with us! Is this what it takes for news to report surprised Congresspeople?

News after news, Obama seems to be the envitable champion of the universe, and by universe I mean the democratic party.  By envitable I mean Hillary oh so sad right now.  I actually really do feel bad for her.  If someone were to get pity points, it’d her.  She’s been preparing for this election for years and years since her days in the White House will Bill.  Then out of no where comes this junior senator from Illinois and wham!

Rice, like a good American diplomat (and much like most college graduated Asian Americans before becoming employed) go on a whirlwind trip to Asia to discuss sex and identity struggle (ok, that ones a stretch on North and South Korea’s nuclear issue)

Finally, this Korean American girl can stand in line with Sarah Chang as the only two Korean girls whose parents endless abusive tirades of “PRACTICE YOUR VIOLIN” paid off.  The rest, good luck w/ Juliard (or however way you spell it) - you can play at my wedding.

The Politico’s great coverage on the Republican’s inabiliy to raise campaign funds.  The article begine with House Minority Leader Boehner telling his GOP members to get off their “dead asses” and ends with a hopeful “We can do this.”  Yah, this pretty much sums how their situation is…sore asses from sitting comfortably the past eight years.  Or in Senator Craig’s situation, from trying to fit under a bathroom stall.

Oh, and more evidence that the Capitol building we built from our tax dollars is actually a museum.  Who was the silly person who spread rumors that it was actually meant for debate.  Losers.

This morning on my way to work I noticed how the streets were covered in mounds of salt.  What was a warning of less than an inch of snow here in DC, triggered a panic attack by the city.  The wind was literally blowing billows of salt across the streets.  To which got me thinking…Salt used to be valued as much as Gold inthe 15, 16, and 1700’s.  (I googled and wikipediaed “salt” this morning - yes i’m a product of the internetz).

Did you know:

• The French created a much hated salt tax called “gabelle” which resulted with mass population migrations, caused wars, and attracted invasions.
• The city of Munich was built solely for the purpose of collecting salt taxes along the salt route.
• English cities ending with “wich” or “wych” usually denotes that it was once produced salt.  (ie: Middlewich, Northwich, and the famous Sandwich)
• Poland, Genoa, and Germany are a few examples of empires rising and falling because of salt.

Alas, now what has salt reduced to?  Crusting up and hardening the bottom of my jeans, becoming the leading cause of high blood pressure for the average american….?

Anyways…

and show the shit show begins.